Is it all right to be angry with God this month? Honest answers

Some months, sadness is the main feeling. Other months, it is anger. Anger at your body, at the friend who conceived without trying, at the unfairness of it all, and sometimes, quietly, at God. Many Christian women feel guilty for that last one and never say it out loud. Here are some honest questions women ask, with gentle answers.

Is it a sin to feel angry with God?

Feeling angry is a human emotion, not a sign that your faith has failed. The Bible is full of people who brought raw, unfiltered feelings to God: Job, Hannah, Jeremiah, David in the psalms. Many of the psalms start in confusion or complaint and only slowly move towards trust. God did not reject them for their honesty. What matters is where you take the anger. Bringing it to God, rather than hiding it or turning it against yourself, is an act of faith.

Does God understand how I feel?

Yes. When Jesus stood with Mary and Martha after their brother Lazarus died, He did not hurry them past their grief or tell them to cheer up. The shortest verse in the Bible tells us what He did:

“Jesus wept.” (John 11:35, KJV)

He knew what He was about to do, and still He wept with them. Your tears do not offend Him. He weeps with those who weep.

Why does God seem to answer other people's prayers and not mine?

This is one of the hardest questions, and there is no tidy answer. Comparing your story with someone else's rarely brings peace, because you only ever see part of their journey. Some of the women you envy may have walked through losses you know nothing about. What we can say is that a delay or a “not yet” is not proof that you are less loved or that you prayed wrongly. God's love for you is not measured by how quickly your prayers are answered.

I don't know how to pray any more. What do I do?

You are not the first to feel this. Paul wrote about it:

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” (Romans 8:26, KJV)

When you have no words, the Spirit prays for you. A sigh, a groan, a whispered “help” is enough. Some practical ideas when prayer feels stuck:

• Pray a psalm aloud. Let someone else's words carry yours for a while.
• Write a letter to God. Put the anger on paper. You don't have to tidy it up.
• Use one sentence. “Lord, I'm angry and I'm still here.”
• Ask someone to pray for you. It is not weakness to borrow someone else's faith for a season.
• Sing, or listen to worship. Music can reach places words cannot.

People keep telling me to “just trust God”. Why does that hurt?

Because it can feel as though your pain is being dismissed. Trusting God and grieving are not opposites. You can trust Him and still be heartbroken. You can believe He is good and still hate this month. It is all right to gently tell people, “I am trusting God, and I'm also sad. I need you to sit with me rather than fix it.”

What if my anger is turning into something heavier?

Anger and sadness are normal on period days. But if you notice you feel hopeless most of the time, you cannot enjoy anything, you are withdrawing from everyone, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to your doctor, a counsellor or someone you trust straight away. Getting help for your mental health is part of caring for the whole person God made. It is never a sign of weak faith.

How do I move forward from here?

Gently, and one day at a time. A few steps that may help this week:

• Tell God honestly how you feel, in whatever words you have.
• Tell one person, too, so you are not carrying it in secret.
• Rest your body. Anger is exhausting, and rest helps.
• Move your body if you can, even a short walk, to release some of the tension.
• Ask yourself what you need this week, and let yourself have it if possible.

God is big enough for your anger and tender enough for your tears. He is not going anywhere.

An honest prayer

God, I am angry and I am hurting, and I am bringing it all to You. Thank You that You wept with Your friends and that Your Spirit prays for me when I have no words. Hold onto me, even when I struggle to hold onto You. Amen.