Cluster feeding: how to survive the evening marathon

Six o'clock: baby feeds. Twenty past six: baby feeds again. Seven: still feeding, or fussing, or feeding while fussing. By nine you are wondering whether something is wrong with your milk, your baby or you. Very often the answer is none of the above. This is cluster feeding, and it is one of the most normal, and most exhausting, patterns of the early months.

What cluster feeding is

Cluster feeding is when a baby has many feeds close together over a few hours, often in the late afternoon or evening, sometimes with fussing in between. It is common in the early weeks and often shows up during growth spurts. Babies may do this for comfort, to fill up before a longer sleep, and to signal your body to make more milk. Bottle-fed babies can have clusters of frequent, hungry feeds too.

Is it cluster feeding or something else?

Cluster feeding is likely if your baby:

• feeds often for a few hours but is more settled at other times of day
• has plenty of wet and dirty nappies for her age
• is gaining weight well at her checks
• seems generally well, alert when awake and feeds eagerly

Talk to your midwife, health visitor or doctor if your baby seems hungry all the time, around the clock, has few wet nappies, is not gaining weight, or if feeds are painful for you. Get urgent help if your baby is floppy, very sleepy and hard to wake, has a fever, is breathing fast or with difficulty, or is not feeding.

The evening plan

You cannot make cluster feeding stop, but you can prepare for it like a long journey.

• Late afternoon: build a nest. Before the clusters start, set up a spot with a big bottle of water, a snack you can eat one-handed, your phone charger, muslins, a few nappies and the remote control. Use the toilet. This is your base camp.
• Early evening: eat a proper meal. If you have a husband, partner or family member at home, ask them to have food ready before the busiest stretch, or batch-cook on a better day. If you are on your own, a freezer meal or something simple dropped off by a friend counts.
• During the cluster: let the house wait. Feed responsively, offering the breast or bottle whenever your baby shows hunger cues. Switch sides as often as your baby wants. Watch a series, listen to a podcast or worship music, or call a friend on speaker.
• Between feeds: share the soothing. Someone else can rock, walk, bath or carry the baby for a few minutes so you can stretch, shower or simply put your arms down.
• Late evening: rest when the storm passes. Many babies follow cluster feeds with a longer stretch of sleep. Go to bed when they do, rather than catching up on chores.

Protect your body

Hours of feeding can leave nipples sore and your back aching. Check the latch, vary positions and support your arms with cushions. If you feel yourself nodding off while holding the baby, put her down on her back in her cot or hand her to another adult. Falling asleep with a baby on a sofa or armchair is particularly risky, so if you feel drowsy, move to a safer place.

What it is not

Cluster feeding is not a sign that you don't have enough milk, that your baby is spoiled, or that you are doing something wrong. It does not mean you need to start a strict schedule. It is a season, often a short one, and it usually eases as your baby grows.

Meditating in the night watches

When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. (Psalm 63:6, KJV)

The psalmist knew long nights too. He turned the hours when he could not sleep into time with God. You don't need to fill cluster feeds with long prayers. Even a whispered thank you, or a single line of a hymn, can turn the evening marathon into a quiet place of meeting.

A prayer for the long evening

Lord, this evening feels endless. Give me patience, a strong back and a peaceful heart. Meet me in these night watches, and let my baby feel your peace through my arms. Amen.