Those first flutters: feeling your baby move for the first time

Grace was sitting in church, half listening to the notices, when she felt it: a tiny bubble, like a goldfish turning over somewhere low in her tummy. She held her breath and waited. Nothing. Then, a minute later, there it was again. She did not tell anyone that morning. She just sat with her hand on her bump and smiled through the whole sermon.

Feeling your baby move for the first time is one of the most tender moments of pregnancy. It can also bring questions. When will it happen? What will it feel like? Is it normal not to feel much yet?

When will I feel my baby move?

Most women first feel movements somewhere between about 16 and 24 weeks. If you have been pregnant before, you may notice them earlier, because you know what you are feeling for. In a first pregnancy it is common to feel them nearer 20 weeks or later. Where your placenta is lying can also make a difference; if it is at the front of your womb it can cushion early movements.

What does it feel like?

Early movements are often so gentle that they are easy to mistake for wind or digestion. Women describe them as:

• fluttering or butterflies
• bubbles popping
• a gentle swish, like a fish swimming
• a light tap or flick

Over the following weeks these grow into clearer kicks, rolls, jabs and stretches. You may even feel rhythmic little jumps, which are often your baby having hiccups.

Tips for noticing early movements

• Lie down quietly on your side after a meal, when babies are often active.
• Rest a hand low on your tummy and wait patiently.
• Notice the evening, when you finally slow down.
• Let your husband or partner try to feel later on; outside kicks are usually felt a few weeks after you first notice them inside.

Getting to know your baby's pattern

As the weeks go on, movements become stronger and more regular. Babies have their own sleep and wake cycles, so you will not feel them all the time. Rather than counting a particular number of kicks, health services generally encourage you to get to know your baby's own pattern: when they tend to be busy and how they usually move.

When to call your midwife or maternity unit

• If you have not felt any movement by around 24 weeks, contact your midwife so they can check on your baby.
• Once you have started feeling regular movements, if you notice your baby moving less, moving differently, or you feel that something has changed, call your midwife or maternity unit straight away. Do not wait until the next day or your next appointment.
• Do not rely on a home heartbeat monitor or phone app to reassure yourself. Hearing a heartbeat at home does not show how your baby is doing in the same way a proper check can.

You will never be wasting anyone's time by calling about movements. Midwives would much rather see you and send you home reassured.

A leap of joy

The Bible gives us one of the loveliest pictures of an unborn baby moving. When pregnant Mary visited her relative Elisabeth, Elisabeth said:

“For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.” (Luke 1:44)

Long before John could see or speak, he responded to the presence of Jesus. Your baby, too, is already responding to the world: to your voice, to music, to movement and touch. Many parents like to talk, sing or pray aloud to their baby in these months. It is a beautiful way to begin a relationship.

If movements are slow to come, try not to worry or compare. Some babies are quieter early on, and some placentas cushion more. Keep your appointments, ask your questions, and wait with hope.

A prayer as I feel you move

Lord, thank You for every flutter and kick, small signs of the life You are forming. Help me to learn my baby's ways, to notice when something changes and to act quickly when I need to. Fill my child with joy in Your presence, even now. Amen.