Sick, sleepy and still held: getting through first-trimester nausea and tiredness

It is three in the afternoon, you are at your desk, and the smell of someone's lunch has sent you hurrying to the bathroom again. Later you will fall asleep on the sofa before the evening news. If this is your first trimester, welcome: you are not lazy, you are not weak, and you are not imagining it. Your body is doing an enormous amount of quiet work.

Why you feel this way

In the early weeks your pregnancy hormones rise quickly, your blood volume begins to increase and your body starts building the placenta, your baby's life-support system. Nausea (which can happen at any time of day, not only the morning) and deep tiredness are two of the most common results. For many women both start to ease somewhere around weeks 12 to 14, though for some they last longer. Feeling unwell is not a sign that something is wrong, and feeling fairly well is not a sign that something is wrong either. Every pregnancy is different.

Small things that often help with nausea

• Eat before you stand up. Keep plain crackers, dry toast or a plain biscuit by the bed and nibble a little before you get up.
• Little and often. An empty stomach often makes nausea worse. Try a small snack every two to three hours rather than three big meals.
• Go plain and cold. Cold foods usually smell less than hot ones. Bread, rice, plain yams, potatoes, fruit and yoghurt are often easier than rich, spicy or fried dishes.
• Sip, do not gulp. Small sips of water through the day are easier to keep down than a full glass. Some women find drinks easier between meals rather than with them.
• Try ginger. Ginger biscuits or ginger tea help some women. Check with your pharmacist or midwife before taking any ginger supplements or remedies.
• Dodge your triggers. If cooking smells set you off, open windows, ask someone else to cook for a while, or keep simple cold meals ready.
• Get fresh air. A short walk outside can settle a queasy stomach and lift a heavy mood.

Living with the tiredness

First-trimester tiredness is not the kind a strong coffee fixes. It can feel like walking through deep water. Try to treat rest as part of your antenatal care rather than something you have to earn.

• Go to bed earlier than feels normal, even by half an hour.
• If you can rest at lunchtime, lie down with your feet up, even for ten minutes.
• Lower the bar at home for a few weeks. Simple meals and an untidy room are fine.
• Say yes when someone offers to help, and if nobody offers, ask one trusted person.
• Gentle movement, such as a slow walk, can actually help energy levels.

When to call your midwife or doctor

Most pregnancy sickness is unpleasant but not dangerous. A small number of women develop a severe form called hyperemesis gravidarum, which needs medical care. Do not wait it out. Contact your midwife, doctor or clinic promptly if:

• you cannot keep any food or fluids down for a whole day
• your urine is very dark, or you have not passed urine for many hours
• you feel dizzy, faint or very weak when you stand
• you are losing weight
• you vomit blood, or have stomach pain, a fever or pain when passing urine

There are treatments that are safe in pregnancy, and asking for help early is wise, not dramatic. Only take medicines your midwife, doctor or pharmacist has said are suitable for pregnancy.

The shepherd who leads gently

There is a verse tucked into Isaiah that seems written for this season:

“He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.” (Isaiah 40:11)

Shepherds knew that ewes carrying lambs could not be driven at the same pace as the rest of the flock. God describes Himself the same way. He is not hurrying you along or measuring your productivity. If today all you managed was getting to work and keeping down some toast, He is not disappointed in you. Jesus invites the weary to come to Him for rest (see Matthew 11:28), and that includes the woman lying on the bathroom floor at 6am.

If you can, write down one small thing each day that you are thankful for, even if it is only that the crackers stayed down. On the hard days, a whispered prayer of a few words is enough.

A prayer for the queasy days

Lord, You see how tired and sick I feel today. Please lead me gently, as You promised, and give me rest that truly restores. Help me to ask for help when I need it, and to trust that You are caring for my baby and me in every quiet moment. Amen.