Notes for the hardest moments of the wait

The two-week wait is not uniformly hard. It is often fine for hours, and then a particular moment catches you off guard. These short notes are written for those moments. Read the one you need, when you need it. You might even want to come back to this page more than once this week.

For 3am, when you can't sleep

The house is quiet, and your mind is loud. You are calculating dates, replaying symptoms, imagining both results. Here is what you can do right now:

• Breathe in slowly for four counts, hold briefly, and breathe out for six. Repeat five times.
• Resist picking up your phone to search symptoms. It will almost certainly keep you awake longer.
• Pray one sentence: “Lord, I give You this night.”
• If thoughts keep circling, write them on a notepad by your bed so your mind can let go of them until morning.

The psalmist knew the long hours of night-time waiting:

“I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.” (Psalm 130:5-6, KJV)

The morning always comes. So does God's faithfulness.

For when a friend announces her pregnancy

It hurts, and it is all right that it hurts. You can be happy for her and heartbroken for yourself at the same time. You don't need to reply immediately or perfectly. A short message such as “Congratulations, I'm so happy for you” is enough for now. Then give yourself permission to step away and feel what you feel. Talk to someone safe or to God about it. Envy, sadness and love can all live in the same heart without making you a bad friend.

For the urge to test early

You have a test in the cupboard. You know it might be too soon. Ask yourself:

• Will a negative today actually tell me anything?
• How will I feel if I see a negative and have to keep waiting anyway?
• What could I do for the next hour instead?

If you decide to wait, well done. If you decide to test, that is your choice too, and there is no shame in it. Just remember that an early negative is not the final word.

For when you feel completely alone

Perhaps your husband or partner doesn't seem to feel it the way you do. Perhaps you haven't told anyone you're trying. Perhaps you're on this journey by yourself. Loneliness can make the wait so much heavier. Consider reaching out to one person today: a friend, a sister, a pastor, an online support group. You don't have to tell them everything. Just let someone in a little.

For when you feel you have no faith left

Some days you can't summon a hopeful thought or a single prayer. That is not the end of your faith. It is a hard day. Let someone else's words carry you:

“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Psalm 27:14, KJV)

Notice who does the strengthening. You are not asked to strengthen your own heart. You are asked to wait, and He does the rest.

For the morning you test or your period comes

Whatever you see, you will need kindness. Before you look, take a breath and remind yourself: “I am loved, whatever this says.”

• If it's negative or your period has come: let yourself grieve. Rest. Tell someone. You don't have to plan next month today.
• If it's positive: take a moment to breathe it in. Contact your doctor, midwife or clinic to book your first appointment, and seek urgent advice if you have pain, bleeding or feel faint.
• If it's unclear: test again in a few days, and talk to your doctor if you are unsure.

For when worry becomes too much

If anxiety during the wait is affecting your sleep, eating or daily life most of the time, or you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please speak to your doctor or someone you trust as soon as possible. You deserve support, and asking for it is a sign of strength.

A prayer for the hard moments

Lord, You see each hard moment of this wait before I reach it. Strengthen my heart when I have no strength of my own. Meet me at 3am, in the bathroom, in the hard conversations, and remind me that the morning always comes. Amen.