Ovulation myths you can stop worrying about this week
Legs in the air, perfect positions, only one magic day? Common ovulation myths debunked, so you can drop the pressure and focus on what genuinely helps.
By PreggieLover 4 min read
Advice comes from everywhere when you are trying to conceive: aunties, colleagues, internet forums, social media. Some of it is helpful. Much of it is not, and a lot of it adds pressure you simply don't need during your fertile window. Here are some of the most common myths, and what is actually true.
Myth 1: Everyone ovulates on day 14
The truth: Day 14 is an average based on a 28-day cycle. Many women ovulate earlier or later, and the day can shift from month to month. Ovulation usually happens around 12 to 14 days before your next period, so if your cycles are 32 days long, you may ovulate around day 18. Watching your own signs is far more reliable than counting to 14.
Myth 2: You must have intimacy on the exact day of ovulation
The truth: The days before ovulation are just as important, if not more so. Sperm can live for up to about five days, so having sperm already waiting when the egg is released is ideal. If you only try once you get a positive ovulation test or a temperature rise, you may miss some of the best days.
Myth 3: More is always better
The truth: Intimacy every day or every other day in the fertile window is plenty. Trying several times a day doesn't improve your chances and can leave you both exhausted and stressed. On the other hand, saving up by abstaining for a long time before the fertile window isn't helpful either. Regular, relaxed intimacy is best.
Myth 4: Lying with your legs up the wall makes a big difference
The truth: There is no need for gymnastics. Sperm are good swimmers, and the ones heading in the right direction get going quickly. Resting for a few minutes afterwards is fine if it feels nice, but you don't need to stay still for half an hour or prop your hips up.
Myth 5: Certain positions help you conceive
The truth: There is no good evidence that any particular position increases your chances. Choose what feels comfortable and loving for both of you.
Myth 6: Any lubricant is fine
The truth: Some ordinary lubricants, and even saliva, may make it harder for sperm to move. If you need lubricant, look for one labelled fertility-friendly or sperm-friendly. If you often need lubricant because intimacy is uncomfortable, mention it to your doctor.
Myth 7: If you felt ovulation pain, you definitely conceived (or definitely didn't)
The truth: Some women feel a twinge when they ovulate, others never do. Feeling it, or not feeling it, tells you nothing about whether you will conceive this month.
Myth 8: If it doesn't happen quickly, something must be wrong
The truth: Even for healthy couples with good timing, conception often takes a number of cycles. It is a matter of chance each month, not a test you pass or fail. The usual advice is to see your doctor after twelve months of trying, or six months if you are 35 or over, or sooner if you have particular concerns.
Myth 9: Stress this week will ruin your chances
The truth: Feeling a bit stressed during the fertile window is extremely common, and it does not mean you have ruined anything. Being kind to yourself and reducing pressure is worthwhile for your wellbeing and your relationship, but please don't add worry about worrying to your list.
Myth 10: If you have enough faith, you'll conceive this month
The truth: Your faith is not a formula, and a baby is not a reward for spiritual performance. Women of great faith have waited a long time, and some have walked roads they never expected. God's love for you does not depend on this month's result.
What genuinely helps
- Intimacy every day or two in your fertile window, or every two to three days through the cycle.
- Fertility-friendly lubricant if you need one.
- A daily folic acid supplement, as recommended by your doctor or pharmacist.
- Good sleep, regular meals and gentle exercise for both of you.
- Kindness to each other, and to yourself.
Trusting beyond your understanding
When there is so much conflicting advice, it is a relief to remember that you don't have to work out everything on your own:
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, KJV)
Gather wise information, do the sensible things, then let go of the rest. You can acknowledge God in your planning and trust Him with what is beyond your control.
A prayer to let go of pressure
Lord, there is so much advice and so much I cannot control. Help me to hold on to what is true and let go of the myths and the pressure. I trust You with my whole heart this week, and I ask You to direct my paths. Amen.
Frequently asked questions
Do you need to lie with your legs up after sex to get pregnant?
No. Resting for a few minutes is fine if you want to, but there is no need to raise your legs or stay still for a long time.
Does everyone ovulate on day 14?
No. Day 14 is an average for a 28-day cycle. Ovulation usually happens around 12 to 14 days before your next period, so it varies with cycle length.
This article is for general information and encouragement, not medical advice. Please talk to your doctor or midwife about your own health and your baby's.
