Pregnancy tiredness, trimester by trimester

Nine o'clock in the evening used to be the middle of your day. Now you are asleep on the sofa before the news finishes, and you could happily nap at your desk by eleven in the morning. Pregnancy tiredness is not ordinary tiredness. It can feel heavy, sudden and complete. Understanding how it changes can help you plan, rest and know when to ask for help.

First trimester: the great wave

For many women, the first weeks of pregnancy bring the deepest tiredness. Your body is building the placenta, your blood volume is rising and hormone levels are changing fast. Add nausea and broken sleep from needing the toilet, and it is no wonder you feel wiped out, often before you have told anyone you are pregnant.

What helps:

• Go to bed earlier, even by half an hour.
• Nap if you can, even for twenty minutes.
• Lower your standards for a while. A simple meal and a messy kitchen are fine.
• Eat little and often to keep your energy steady.
• Tell one or two trusted people so they can help, even if you are not ready to announce.

Second trimester: a little more breathing room

Many women find their energy returns somewhere in the middle months. Not everyone does, and that is normal too. If you feel brighter, enjoy it, but do not overfill your diary. This can be a good time to:

• Build a gentle habit of walking or swimming, which can improve sleep and energy.
• Plan ahead for the busier final months.
• Keep a regular bedtime routine.

Third trimester: tired in a new way

Later in pregnancy, tiredness often returns. Your body is carrying more weight, sleep becomes harder to find, and night-time toilet trips, heartburn, leg cramps, a kicking baby and a busy mind can all wake you.

What helps:

• From around 28 weeks, go to sleep on your side. Pillows between your knees, under your bump and behind your back can make this much more comfortable.
• Cut down on drinks in the hour or two before bed, but drink well earlier in the day.
• Keep caffeine low, and avoid it in the afternoon and evening.
• Wind down without screens for a while before bed. A warm bath, a psalm read slowly or a gentle stretch can signal to your body that it is time to rest.
• If you cannot sleep, rest anyway. Lying quietly still does you good.

When tiredness needs checking

Some tiredness has a cause that can be treated. Anaemia, which means your blood is low in iron, is common in pregnancy. Tell your midwife or doctor if you notice:

• Extreme tiredness that does not improve with rest.
• Feeling breathless with everyday activities.
• A racing or pounding heartbeat.
• Looking very pale, or feeling dizzy or faint.
• Headaches or a strong craving to eat non-food items such as ice, chalk or clay.

Your midwife can check your blood and advise on any supplements. Do not start iron or other supplements without asking first.

Tiredness can also be linked to low mood or anxiety. If you feel flat, hopeless or unable to enjoy anything, or you are sleeping far more or far less than you need, speak to your midwife or doctor. If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, seek help straight away.

Asking for practical help

Rest often depends on other people. You might ask:

• Your husband or partner to take over the evening washing-up or bath time.
• A friend to collect older children from school once a week.
• Your manager about a later start, more breaks or working from home some days.
• Someone at church to bring a meal on a hard week.

If you are doing this without a partner, it is even more important to let people in. Accepting help is not failure.

He gives His beloved sleep

“It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep” (Psalm 127:2). Pregnancy has a way of stopping us in our tracks and reminding us that we are not machines. Sleep is not wasted time. It is a gift from a Father who loves you and is caring for you and your baby even while you rest.

A prayer for tired days

Father, I am so tired. Thank You that my worth is not measured by how much I get done. Help me rest without guilt, sleep deeply when I can and accept help when it is offered. Renew my strength for today. Amen.