One year with you: preparing for your baby's first birthday

Twelve months ago, you were meeting a stranger. Now you know exactly how they like to be held, which song stops the tears and what that particular squeal means. Whether your baby's first birthday is weeks away or days away, here is a guide to marking it with joy, handling the practical changes that come around twelve months, and making room for whatever you feel.

A celebration that fits your baby

First birthdays can grow into big productions, with outfits, decorations, cakes and long guest lists. If that brings you joy, enjoy it. But your baby will not remember the party, and a tired, overwhelmed one-year-old is rarely a happy one. A few ideas to keep it gentle:

• Plan around naps. Celebrate after a good sleep, not during the usual nap time.
• Keep it short. An hour or two is plenty for most little ones.
• Keep the guest list kind. Close family and friends your baby knows may be less overwhelming than a crowd.
• Make food safe. Avoid whole nuts, whole grapes, popcorn and hard sweets for small guests. Keep the cake and party food low in salt and added sugar for your baby, and watch for balloons, which are a choking risk when burst.
• Capture it simply. A few photos, a short video, and perhaps a handprint.

Meaningful traditions to start

Some families like to mark the day in ways their child will appreciate when older:

• Write a letter to your baby about their first year, to read together one day.
• Gather family and friends to pray a blessing over your child.
• Plant a tree or flower and watch it grow with them.
• Choose a children's Bible or storybook and write a note inside.
• Give thanks at church or in your home for the year you have been given.

Practical changes around twelve months

Ask your health visitor, doctor or clinic about what applies where you live, but common changes include:

• A review or check-up around one year, looking at growth, development, hearing, sight and teeth.
• Routine vaccinations due around the first birthday in many countries. Check your baby's health record for the schedule.
• Milk: from twelve months, whole cows' milk (or another suitable milk your doctor advises) can become the main drink, if you are not breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can continue as long as you and your baby wish.
• Cups instead of bottles: many experts suggest moving away from bottles around this age, which is better for teeth.
• Family meals: your baby can now eat most family foods, chopped safely, with no added salt or sugar, and honey is now allowed.
• Teeth: keep brushing twice a day with fluoride toothpaste as your dentist advises, and book a dental check if you have not yet.

Developmental things to mention

Every child is different, but talk to your health visitor or doctor if, around their first birthday, your baby:

• Is not moving around in any way, such as crawling, shuffling or cruising
• Is not babbling, or does not respond to their name
• Does not use gestures such as pointing or waving
• Has lost skills they used to have

Room for every feeling

First birthdays are often joyful, and they can also stir up things you did not expect. You may be thinking about a difficult birth, a hard first year, or postnatal depression you are still recovering from. You may be grieving a baby who came before this one, or a loved one who is not here to celebrate. You may simply feel sad that the baby days are ending. All of these feelings are allowed, and they can sit alongside thankfulness. If sadness or anxiety is weighing heavily on you, please talk to someone you trust and to your doctor.

A day the Lord has made

A birthday is a natural day to give thanks. The psalmist wrote:

"This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24, KJV)

You might also speak the ancient priestly blessing of Numbers 6:24-26 over your child, asking the Lord to bless and keep them, to make His face shine on them, and to give them peace. It is a beautiful prayer to say every birthday from now on.

A birthday prayer

Lord, thank You for a whole year with this child. Thank You for every feed, every smile, every hard night You carried us through. Bless my little one as they grow, and bless me as I keep learning to love them well. This is the day You have made, and I rejoice in it. Amen.