Your 6-8 week checks: what happens and what to ask

Somewhere around six to eight weeks after birth, most families have a set of checks: one for the baby and, in many places, one for the mother too. Some parents walk in feeling prepared. Many arrive with a crumpled list, a baby who has just filled a nappy, and a mind that goes blank the moment the doctor says, "Any questions?" This guide is here to help you walk in ready.

What happens at your baby's check

The exact routine depends on where you live and on your clinic, but a doctor, nurse or health visitor will usually:

• Weigh and measure your baby, including head circumference, and plot it on their growth chart.
• Check the eyes, looking at how they follow and shining a light to check the back of the eye.
• Listen to the heart and lungs.
• Examine the hips, gently moving the legs to check the joints.
• Check the testes in boys, to see that they have come down into the scrotum.
• Ask about feeding, sleep, smiling and alertness, and look at how your baby moves and holds their body.

In many countries, the first routine vaccinations are given around six to eight weeks. Your clinic will tell you the schedule where you live. Bring your baby's health record book or card so everything can be written down.

What happens at your own check

Your health matters just as much. Depending on where you are, your doctor or midwife may ask about:

• Bleeding, stitches, a caesarean wound or any pain that has not settled
• Passing urine and opening your bowels, including any leaking
• Your blood pressure and, if relevant, follow-up after any pregnancy complications
• Your mood, sleep and how you are coping
• Contraception and family planning, if and when you want to talk about it
• Pelvic floor exercises and returning to exercise

If your appointment seems to be all about the baby, it is fine to say, "I would also like to talk about me."

Questions you could take along

Write your questions on your phone in the days before. Here are some to choose from:

1. Is my baby's weight gain on track?
2. How do I know feeding is going well, and who can help if it is not?
3. Is this rash, sticky eye or noisy breathing anything to worry about?
4. Which vaccines is my baby having today, and what reactions are normal afterwards?
5. When is the next check, and how do I get help between appointments?
6. My bleeding, scar or stitches feel like this. Is that normal?
7. I have been feeling low or anxious. Can we talk about that?

Being honest about how you feel

Many mothers smile and say "Fine" when asked about their mood, partly out of exhaustion and partly from fear of being judged. Please do not be afraid to be honest. Saying "I am crying most days" or "I keep having frightening thoughts" or "I do not feel like myself" opens the door to support. Postnatal depression and anxiety are common, and the earlier they are noticed, the better help works. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, tell someone that day.

Small things that make the day easier

• Dress your baby in clothes that open easily, as they will be undressed for the examination.
• Take a spare nappy, wipes, a change of clothes and a feed.
• If you can, bring your husband, partner, mother or a friend to hold the baby while you talk about your own health.
• Feeding during or straight after vaccinations can comfort your baby.

After vaccinations, some babies are a little unsettled or have a slight temperature. Your nurse will tell you what to expect. If your baby is under three months and has a temperature of 38°C or higher, or seems unwell in any other way, seek medical advice promptly.

Mercy for six weeks of new

Six weeks ago you did not know this little person. Now you know their cries, their smell and the way they stretch after sleep. You have been carried through more than you realise. The writer of Lamentations, in a very hard season, held on to this:

"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23, KJV)

Whatever the check shows, whatever questions you forget to ask, God's mercy meets you again tomorrow morning.

A prayer before the appointment

Faithful God, thank You for carrying us through these first weeks. Give the doctors and nurses wisdom and kindness. Help me to speak honestly about my baby and about myself. Whatever we hear, let Your new mercies meet us there. Amen.