Sore breasts, cramps, tiredness: why symptoms can't tell you yet

Was that a twinge? Are my breasts more tender than usual? Why am I so tired? If you have spent this week analysing every sensation in your body, you are in very good company. The two-week wait is famous for symptom-spotting. Understanding why it is so confusing may help you hold those thoughts more lightly.

Why PMS and early pregnancy feel the same

After ovulation, your body produces more of a hormone called progesterone, whether or not you have conceived. Progesterone is responsible for many of the feelings women notice in the second half of the cycle, including:

• Sore, heavy or tender breasts.
• Tiredness.
• Bloating.
• Mild cramps or a dull ache low in your tummy.
• Mood changes, feeling teary or irritable.
• Food cravings or changes in appetite.
• Headaches.

In early pregnancy, progesterone stays high, so the same symptoms can continue. That means many signs you might read as pregnancy are equally likely to be your normal pre-period pattern. Some women feel very pregnant and are not. Others feel nothing at all and are. Your body simply cannot give you a clear answer yet.

What about implantation?

If an egg is fertilised, it travels down the fallopian tube and implants into the lining of the womb, usually around six to ten days after ovulation. Only after implantation does the body begin producing hCG, the hormone pregnancy tests detect.

Some women notice light spotting around this time, sometimes called implantation bleeding. Many don't. Light spotting in the second half of your cycle can also happen without pregnancy. So it is not a reliable sign either way.

Signs that are worth paying attention to

While most symptoms are not useful for predicting pregnancy, some things deserve medical attention at any time:

• Severe or worsening pain in your tummy, especially on one side.
• Pain in the tip of your shoulder.
• Feeling faint, dizzy or very unwell.
• Heavy bleeding.
• A high temperature.

If you have any of these, contact your doctor or seek urgent care straight away, particularly if there is any chance you could be pregnant.

How to step off the symptom-spotting treadmill

1. Notice, then let go. When you catch yourself analysing a twinge, name it: “That's a symptom-spotting thought.” Then gently turn your attention elsewhere.
2. Limit online searching. Searching symptoms at midnight rarely helps. If you need a boundary, decide on one short time each day, or none at all.
3. Don't compare with last month. Your symptoms can vary from cycle to cycle for many reasons.
4. Keep your hands and mind busy. Plan absorbing activities: a project, a craft, a good book, time with friends.
5. Write it down, once. If it helps, jot any symptoms in your tracker each evening, then close it. This can stop thoughts circling all day.

Choosing what to think on

Your mind is precious, and what you feed it shapes how you feel. Paul offered a gentle filter for our thoughts:

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8, KJV)

Here is what is true today: you don't know yet, and that is all right. God is with you in the not-knowing. You are loved regardless of the outcome. There are lovely things in your life worth noticing this week. Try choosing one of these true thoughts each time the symptom-spotting starts.

A gentle experiment for this week

For one day, try not to check any symptoms at all. Each time you feel the urge, replace it with one of these:

• A short prayer: “Lord, You know. I trust You.”
• A glass of water and three slow breaths.
• A message to a friend, about anything except trying to conceive.
• Five minutes outside.

You may find your mind is a little quieter by evening.

A prayer for a busy mind

Lord, my mind keeps searching my body for answers it cannot give yet. Help me to set my thoughts on what is true and lovely today. Thank You that You already know what I don't, and that I am safe with You in the waiting. Amen.