Coffee, a glass of wine and a cigarette: what really matters when you're trying
How much coffee is okay? Is one drink harmful? What about smoking or vaping? Clear, myth-busting answers about caffeine, alcohol and smoking while trying to conceive.
By PreggieLover 3 min read
Should you give up your morning coffee? What about a glass of wine at a friend's wedding? Your husband smokes; does that matter? There is a lot of mixed advice around these everyday habits. Here are the common myths and the well-established facts, so you can make informed, peaceful choices.
Caffeine
Myth: “You must give up caffeine completely.”
Fact: Most health services advise keeping caffeine moderate rather than cutting it out entirely. In pregnancy, the UK's NHS advises no more than 200 milligrams a day, roughly two mugs of instant coffee or one mug of filter coffee. Many women choose to stay within that limit while trying, so nothing needs to change if they conceive.
Remember the hidden sources
Caffeine is found in coffee, tea (including green tea), cola, energy drinks, some cold and flu remedies, and chocolate. Energy drinks can be particularly high. Decaffeinated tea and coffee, water, and fruit-infused water are good swaps.
Alcohol
Myth: “A drink or two won't matter until I know I'm pregnant.”
Fact: Because you might be pregnant for a couple of weeks before you know it, health authorities such as the UK's Chief Medical Officers advise that if you are pregnant or planning a pregnancy, the safest approach is not to drink alcohol at all. This keeps risks to a developing baby as low as possible.
Myth: “Alcohol only matters for women.”
Fact: Heavy drinking can affect sperm quality and sex drive in men. It is wise for both partners to cut down while trying to conceive.
What if I drank before I knew?
Many women drink a little before realising they are pregnant. Try not to panic. Stop drinking once you know, and talk to your midwife or doctor if you are worried. Guilt helps no one; good care going forward does.
Smoking and vaping
Myth: “Smoking only affects the baby once you're pregnant.”
Fact: Smoking can reduce fertility in both women and men, and smoking in pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage, premature birth and other complications. Second-hand smoke is harmful too. Stopping smoking is one of the best things either of you can do.
Myth: “Vaping is completely safe.”
Fact: Vapes are generally considered less harmful than cigarettes and may help some people stop smoking, but they are not risk-free. Speak to a stop-smoking service or your doctor about the best plan for you.
Getting help to stop
Stopping is hard. Free stop-smoking services, nicotine replacement products and support from your doctor can make a big difference. Some people need several attempts; that is normal. Never be ashamed to ask for help.
Recreational drugs
Drugs such as cannabis, cocaine and anabolic steroids can harm fertility in women and men and are unsafe in pregnancy. If you or your partner use any substance and find it hard to stop, talk to your doctor confidentially.
Making changes from a place of love
“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” (1 Corinthians 6:19). This verse is sometimes used to shame people. Read gently, it says something beautiful: your body is a dwelling place for God's Spirit, and it is precious to Him. Caring for it is a response to love, not a way to earn it.
A word about social occasions
Weddings, parties and family celebrations often come with drinks and questions. If you choose not to drink, you do not need to explain. Holding a sparkling water, a mocktail or a soft drink usually stops the offers. “I'm fine with this, thanks” is a complete answer.
Small steps to start this week
- Count your daily caffeine for a few days, then decide what to keep.
- Pick an alcohol-free drink you enjoy for social events.
- If either of you smokes, book a stop-smoking appointment.
- Agree to make changes together, as a couple, if you have a partner.
A prayer for change
Lord, thank You that my body is precious to You. Give me wisdom and self-control for the small choices of each day. Where change is hard, give me help and grace, and free me from guilt so I can move forward in Your love. Amen.
Frequently asked questions
How much caffeine is safe when trying to conceive?
Most health services advise keeping caffeine moderate. Many women stay within the pregnancy limit, which in the UK is no more than 200 milligrams a day.
Should I stop drinking alcohol when trying to get pregnant?
Health authorities such as the UK's Chief Medical Officers advise that the safest approach when planning a pregnancy is not to drink alcohol at all.
Does smoking affect male fertility?
Yes. Smoking can reduce sperm quality, and second-hand smoke is harmful in pregnancy, so stopping helps both partners.
This article is for general information and encouragement, not medical advice. Please talk to your doctor or midwife about your own health and your baby's.
