Sleep, rest and fertility: building a wind-down routine you'll actually keep

Rest is often the first thing to go when life gets busy or worry gets loud. Late nights scrolling, early starts, broken sleep after a hard day. But sleep is not a luxury. It supports your hormones, your mood, your immune system and your ability to cope with the emotional ups and downs of trying to conceive. Here is how to build a wind-down routine that is realistic enough to keep.

Why sleep matters in this season

• Hormones: your body's daily rhythm is linked with the hormones that regulate many processes, including your cycle.
• Mood and resilience: poor sleep makes worries feel bigger and disappointments heavier.
• Healthy habits: tiredness makes it harder to eat well, move and make good decisions.
• Your relationship: exhausted couples argue more and connect less.

Most adults need around seven to nine hours of sleep a night, though everyone is a little different.

A 60-minute wind-down routine

60 minutes before bed: close the day

Finish work, emails and fertility research. Write tomorrow's to-do list and a quick worry list, so your brain can let go. If you track your cycle, do it now, not in bed.

45 minutes before bed: dim the lights

Lower the lights in your home. Bright light in the evening can make it harder for your body to feel sleepy. Switch to a warm lamp if you can.

30 minutes before bed: screens away

Put your phone on charge outside the bedroom if possible, or at least across the room. Swap scrolling for something calming: a paper book, gentle stretches, a warm shower, a cup of caffeine-free tea.

15 minutes before bed: still your soul

Read a short psalm. Pray a simple evening prayer, giving God the day that has passed. Some women like to pray through the day in three parts: thank You for…, I'm sorry for…, please help with…

Lights out

Keep your room cool, dark and quiet. If your mind races, try slow breathing, breathing out for longer than you breathe in.

A sleep verse to rest on

“I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8). The psalmist does not lie down in peace because his problems are solved. He lies down in peace because God is keeping watch. You can do the same. Elsewhere, Scripture reminds us that God gives His beloved sleep, and that burning the candle at both ends in anxious toil is not His way (see Psalm 127:2).

If you work shifts or have broken nights

• Keep your sleep time as consistent as you can, even on days off.
• Use blackout curtains and an eye mask for daytime sleep.
• Protect a short wind-down routine, even after a night shift.
• Tell your doctor or fertility clinic about shift work, especially if you are tracking temperature.

When sleep is a bigger problem

Speak to your doctor if:

• You regularly struggle to fall or stay asleep for several weeks.
• You snore loudly or wake gasping.
• You feel exhausted however much you sleep.
• Worry or low mood are keeping you awake most nights.

Please do not take sleeping tablets or herbal sleep remedies while trying to conceive without first checking with your doctor or pharmacist.

What about naps and lie-ins?

A short nap of twenty to thirty minutes in the early afternoon can refresh you without spoiling night-time sleep. Long or late naps can make it harder to fall asleep at bedtime. Weekend lie-ins are lovely, but very late mornings can shift your body clock, making Monday harder. Try to keep your wake-up time within an hour or so of your weekday time. If you share a bed, talk with your husband or partner about a wind-down routine you can both enjoy, so evenings become a time of connection rather than parallel scrolling.

Rest is more than sleep

Rest also includes pauses in your day, a weekly time to stop and enjoy God's goodness, and moments when you are not striving. If you feel you must earn rest, remember that God built rest into the rhythm of creation. You are allowed to stop.

An evening prayer

Lord, I give You this day: what went well, what hurt and what is still undone. Watch over me as I sleep. Quiet my mind and restore my body, and let me wake up held by Your love. Amen.