Nesting: when the urge to get everything ready takes over

At eleven o'clock on a Saturday night, Funmi found herself on her knees scrubbing the skirting boards in the baby's room. She had already washed every tiny vest twice and reorganised the kitchen cupboards. Her husband stood in the doorway and asked, gently, whether this could wait until morning. She laughed, then cried a little, then went to bed. Welcome to nesting.

What is nesting?

Nesting is the strong urge many women feel, often in the third trimester, to clean, organise and prepare the home for a new baby. Not everyone experiences it, and that is fine. For those who do, it can feel like a burst of energy and focus, sometimes in the middle of tiredness. It is a natural part of preparing for a big change.

Using the urge well

Nesting can be a gift, especially when it helps you get practical things done. Some ideas worth your energy:

• Set up a safe sleep space. A cot or Moses basket with a firm, flat mattress and nothing else in it: no pillows, bumpers, quilts or soft toys. Babies sleep on their back.
• Fit the car seat if you will travel by car, and check it is suitable for a newborn.
• Wash baby clothes and bedding with a mild detergent.
• Batch-cook and freeze meals, or stock the cupboard with simple foods.
• Make a nappy-changing area with everything within reach.
• Write key numbers on a card by the door: maternity unit, midwife, doctor, family helper.
• Prepare your hospital bag and keep it by the door.

Nesting safely

Your energy may feel limitless at times, but your body is still carrying a baby and your joints are looser than usual. Please:

• Stay off ladders and step stools. Your balance is different now. Ask someone else to reach high places.
• Avoid heavy lifting and moving furniture. Let others do it.
• Ventilate well and avoid strong chemicals and fumes. Choose milder cleaning products, wear gloves and open windows.
• Leave painting to others, or ask your midwife about safe options if you must.
• Avoid cleaning cat litter if you can, or wear gloves and wash your hands well.
• Stop when you are tired, and stop straight away if you feel pain, dizziness or tightenings.

Remember to stay alert to your body. Call your maternity unit straight away if your baby is moving less, you have bleeding, your waters break, or you have regular pains before 37 weeks, a severe headache or vision changes.

When nesting becomes pressure

Sometimes the urge to prepare can tip into anxiety: a feeling that everything must be perfect or something bad will happen. If you notice you cannot rest, are not sleeping or feel panicky, talk to your midwife or doctor. Anxiety in pregnancy is common and help is available.

It may also help to remember that babies need very little in the early weeks: a safe place to sleep, food, warmth, clean nappies and loving arms. A perfectly organised wardrobe is a bonus, not a requirement.

Strength and stillness

The woman in Proverbs 31:17 is described as strong and hard-working, and nesting can make you feel a little like her. Yet God also calls His people to rest. Through Isaiah He said:

“For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.” (Isaiah 30:15)

Notice where strength is found: in quietness and confidence, not only in effort. Your preparations matter, but your baby's safety and your family's future do not depend on how clean the skirting boards are. As you prepare your home, let God prepare your heart too. Some of your best preparing might happen sitting still, hand on your bump, simply resting in Him.

A prayer for a nesting heart

Lord, thank You for the energy to prepare for my baby. Help me to use it wisely and safely, to accept help and to stop when I am tired. Teach me to find my strength in quietness and trust, and make our home a place of peace for this little one. Amen.