Newborn sleep, week by week: what is normal in the first three months

Before your baby arrived, someone probably told you newborns sleep all the time. In a sense they do. What nobody quite explains is that they sleep in short pieces, at all hours, with plenty of grunts, squeaks and wake-ups in between. If your nights feel chopped into fragments, you are not doing it wrong. This is how newborn sleep works. Here is a rough guide to the first three months.

The first two weeks: tiny tummies, short stretches

Newborns sleep for a large part of the day and night in total, but rarely for more than a couple of hours at a time. Their tummies are small and need filling often. Many breastfed babies feed 8 to 12 times or more in 24 hours in the early weeks, and formula-fed babies also need regular feeds day and night.

• Your midwife may advise you to wake your baby for feeds if they are very sleepy, jaundiced or slow to regain their birth weight. Follow their advice.
• Your baby has no sense of day and night yet. That is normal, not a habit you have created.
• Expect noisy sleep. Newborns snuffle, grunt, twitch and sometimes breathe irregularly, with brief pauses followed by a few quick breaths. This is usually normal.

Get emergency help if your baby's breathing pauses for longer than those brief moments, or if they turn blue or grey, are floppy or cannot be woken.

Weeks 3 to 6: the fussy evenings

Many babies become more alert and more unsettled during these weeks, often with a fussy spell in the late afternoon or evening. Crying often increases, and for many babies it peaks somewhere around 6 to 8 weeks before slowly easing. Some evenings your baby may want to feed again and again, known as cluster feeding. It is tiring, but it is common and often comes before a slightly longer stretch of sleep.

Start gently teaching day and night:

• Daytime: open the curtains, keep normal household noise, and chat and play during awake times.
• Night-time: keep lights low, voices soft and feeds calm and quiet. Change nappies only when needed.

Weeks 6 to 12: the first hints of a pattern

Somewhere in this window, some babies begin to sleep for a slightly longer stretch at night, often in the first part of the night. Others take longer, and that is normal too. Your baby may stay awake for longer between sleeps and start to show tired signs you can recognise:

• Staring into space or turning away from faces.
• Yawning, rubbing eyes or ears.
• Jerky movements, clenched fists or fussing.

Trying to settle your baby when you see these early signs, rather than once they are overtired and crying, can make sleep come more easily. This is also a lovely time to start a very simple bedtime rhythm, such as a feed, a song and a cuddle in a dim room.

Safety does not change with age

Through all these weeks, every sleep is on the back, in a clear cot or Moses basket, in the same room as you. If you are so tired you might fall asleep while holding your baby, put them down in their cot first. Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.

What about you?

Newborn sleep is hardest on the grown-ups. A few things can help you through this season:

• Rest when you can, even if you cannot sleep. Lying down with your eyes closed still helps.
• Share the nights if you have a partner or family nearby. Even one protected stretch of sleep can make a difference.
• Let things go. Laundry and visitors can wait.
• Watch your mood. If you feel hopeless or panicky, or cannot sleep even when you have the chance, talk to your midwife, health visitor or doctor. Exhaustion and postnatal depression can overlap, and help is available.

The One who never sleeps

In the small hours, it can feel as if you are the only person awake in the world. You are not. “Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep” (Psalm 121:4). The God who keeps watch over His people is awake with you at every feed. You do not have to carry the night alone, and when your baby finally sleeps, you can hand the watch back to Him.

A prayer for the night feeds

Faithful God, thank You that You never slumber. Be near me in the dark hours and give me strength for each feed. Help my baby learn day from night in their own time, and grant us both the rest we need. Amen.