Still waiting: what happens when you go past your due date

Your due date was circled on the calendar for months. Now it has come and gone, and the messages keep arriving: Any news? Is baby here yet? You are tired, heavy and ready. If you are past your due date, you are in very good company. Here is what usually happens next, and how to look after yourself while you wait.

Your due date is an estimate

A due date is worked out as 40 weeks from the first day of your last period, or from your early scan. It is a best guess, not an appointment. A full-term pregnancy is generally counted as anywhere from 37 to 42 weeks, and only a small number of babies arrive on their due date itself. First babies in particular often come after it.

What care may look like after 40 weeks

Care varies between countries and hospitals, but you can generally expect:

• Extra check-ups. Your midwife or doctor will see you to check your blood pressure, urine, bump size and baby's position and heartbeat.
• A membrane sweep. Many clinics offer this around your due date or soon after. During an internal examination, your midwife sweeps a finger around the cervix to try to separate the membranes, which may help labour start. It can be uncomfortable and may cause some spotting or cramps. You can say yes or no.
• A conversation about induction. Many hospitals discuss inducing labour from around 41 weeks, because the risks to the baby gradually increase the longer a pregnancy goes beyond term. Your midwife or doctor will explain the options, the reasons and what happens.
• If you choose to wait longer, you may be offered extra monitoring of your baby. Ask what this will involve.

What happens at an induction?

Induction usually involves one or more steps: medicine placed in the vagina to soften the cervix, breaking your waters, and a drip to start or strengthen contractions. It can take some time, from hours to a couple of days, so pack snacks and things to pass the time. Ask your hospital to talk you through their process.

About old remedies

You will hear many tips for starting labour: spicy food, long walks, pineapple, bumpy car rides. Most have little evidence behind them. Gentle walking and staying active is good for you anyway. However, do not take castor oil, herbal preparations or any remedy to bring on labour without speaking to your midwife or doctor first, as some can be harmful.

Keep watching your baby's movements

Your baby should keep moving right up to labour. If your baby is moving less or differently, call your maternity unit straight away, even if you have an appointment soon. Also call straight away if you have bleeding, your waters break, constant pain, a severe headache, vision changes or a fever.

Waiting well

• Plan small good things for each day: a walk, a film, lunch with a friend, a nap.
• Prepare a reply to the many messages. Something like, Baby is safe and well and we will share news when there is news. Or mute group chats for a while.
• Rest. Labour will come, and you will be glad of the sleep.
• Tell someone how you feel. Frustration, worry and impatience are normal, especially if you are uncomfortable or have been through loss before.

Though it tarry

Waiting is a deeply biblical experience. The prophet Habakkuk was told to wait for God's promise:

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” (Habakkuk 2:3)

That verse was about God's purposes for His people, not about due dates. Yet it reflects something true for you: delay is not abandonment. The psalmist in Psalm 31:15 says our times are in God's hand. This in-between space is not empty. He is present in the waiting just as much as in the birth.

A prayer for the waiting days

Lord, I am tired of waiting and longing to meet my baby. Give me patience for each day, peace about every decision and rest for my body. Keep my baby safe, and help me trust that our times are in Your hands. Amen.