Pelvic floor myths new mums are still told (and what is actually true)

Nobody puts it on the baby shower card, but here it is: a lot of new mums leak a little when they sneeze, laugh or lift the car seat. Many feel embarrassed and say nothing. Others are told by a well-meaning auntie that it is simply what happens once you have children. The truth is more hopeful. Your pelvic floor can usually be strengthened, and help is available.

Your pelvic floor is a hammock of muscles at the base of your pelvis. It supports your bladder, bowel and womb, helps you control wee and wind, and plays a part in sex and core strength. Pregnancy and birth stretch it, whichever way your baby arrived. Here are some of the most common myths, and what is actually true.

Myth: "Leaking is just part of being a mum now."

Fact: Leaking after birth is common, but common is not the same as something you have to live with. For many women, regular pelvic floor exercises make a real difference over a few months. If you are still leaking at your postnatal check, or at any point it is bothering you, ask your doctor about a referral to a pelvic health physiotherapist.

Myth: "I had a caesarean, so my pelvic floor is fine."

Fact: Your pelvic floor carried the weight of your growing baby for months, so it still needs care after a caesarean. The exercises are gentle and can usually be started when you feel comfortable.

Myth: "The best way to practise is stopping your wee midstream."

Fact: This is sometimes suggested as a way to find the right muscles once, but making a habit of it is not recommended, as it can interfere with emptying your bladder properly. Practise at other times instead.

Myth: "More squeezing is always better."

Fact: Your pelvic floor needs to relax as well as tighten. Muscles that are always clenched can cause pain and other problems. A full, gentle release after each squeeze is part of the exercise.

Myth: "If I have missed the early weeks, it is too late."

Fact: It is never too late to start. Women see improvement months and even years after birth.

How to do a basic pelvic floor exercise

Here is a simple version that many midwives teach. Do it lying down, sitting or standing, whatever feels easiest.

1. Breathe in and relax your tummy.
2. As you breathe out, squeeze and lift as if you are trying to stop yourself passing wind and wee at the same time. Think "squeeze and lift inwards", not "push down".
3. Hold for a few seconds while breathing normally, then fully let go.
4. Do a few quick squeezes too, tightening and releasing straight away.
5. Gradually build up how long you can hold and how many you can do.

Try to fit them in a few times a day. Some mums tie them to feeds, nappy changes or boiling the kettle. If you are not sure you are doing them right, a pelvic health physiotherapist can check.

When to ask for help

Speak to your midwife, health visitor or doctor if you have:

• Leaking of wee, wind or poo that is not getting better.
• A feeling of heaviness, dragging or a bulge in your vagina.
• Pain during sex once you have healed, or pain in your pelvis.
• Difficulty emptying your bladder or bowels.

These are everyday conversations for health professionals, even if they feel very personal to you. You might start with: "I have been having some leaking since the birth and I would like it looked at."

Strength in hidden places

There is a lovely line in the description of the woman of strength in Proverbs: "She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." (Proverbs 31:17). It is a picture of a woman getting ready for her work, preparing her body for the tasks ahead.

Caring for your pelvic floor is a hidden, unglamorous kind of strength. Nobody sees you do it while you wait for the kettle. But it is a way of honouring the body God gave you, so it can carry you, and your little one, for many years to come.

A prayer for hidden strength

Lord, You see the parts of my recovery that nobody else knows about. Give me patience to keep going with small, quiet exercises, and courage to ask for help when I need it. Strengthen me in body and in spirit. Amen.