Keeping your baby close: a practical guide to room-sharing

In many homes around the world, babies have always slept close to their parents. Safe sleep advice agrees that close is good: for at least the first six months, the safest place for your baby to sleep is in their own cot or Moses basket in the same room as you. Here is how to set that up well, how to make it work in real homes, and how to think about the move to their own room.

Why room-sharing matters

Having your baby sleep in the same room as you, on their own separate sleep surface, is linked with a lower risk of sudden infant death in the early months. This applies to daytime naps too: for the first six months, your baby should ideally sleep in the same room as an adult for every sleep. Being close also makes night feeds easier and lets you hear and respond to your baby quickly.

Setting up the space

• Choose a sturdy cot, crib or Moses basket that meets current safety standards in your country.
• Use a firm, flat, waterproof mattress that fits snugly with no gaps. If your cot is second-hand, a new mattress is a good idea.
• Bedside cribs that attach to your bed must be fixed securely, with no gap between the two mattresses, following the manufacturer's instructions.
• Position the cot away from radiators, heaters, direct sun and any blind or curtain cords.
• Keep it clear: no pillows, duvets, bumpers, soft toys or sleep positioners.
• Keep the room comfortable, around 16 to 20°C, and smoke-free.

Making it work in real homes

Not every family has a large bedroom. A Moses basket on a stand or a small crib can fit in tight spaces. For daytime naps, a Moses basket or a pram with a firm, flat base can be moved to whichever room you are in. If older children share your room, keep the baby's cot as their own clear space, and make sure siblings do not climb in or add toys.

Babies are noisy sleepers, with grunts, snuffles and squeaks. You do not need to respond to every sound. Pause, listen and see whether your baby settles back on their own before you lift them.

What about sharing a bed?

Many parents bring their baby into bed at some point, sometimes planned and sometimes because they fall asleep while feeding. Your baby's own cot beside your bed is the safest option. If there is any chance you will fall asleep with your baby in your bed:

• Keep pillows and duvets away from your baby, and lay them on their back.
• Make sure they cannot fall out or get trapped between the mattress and the wall.
• Do not have other children or pets in the bed.
• Never share a bed with your baby if you or anyone in the bed smokes, has drunk alcohol or has taken drugs or medicine that causes drowsiness, if you are extremely tired, or if your baby was born premature or at a low birth weight.

And never fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair, which carries a much higher risk.

Moving to their own room

After six months, when to move your baby into their own room is a family choice. Some families move soon after; others keep their baby close for much longer. There is no prize for doing it early. When you are ready:

• Start with daytime naps in the new room so it becomes familiar.
• Keep the same bedtime routine, sleeping bag and goodnight words.
• Check the new room is the right temperature, with the cot away from hazards.
• Use a baby monitor if it helps you feel at ease, but remember it does not replace safe sleep habits.
• Expect a few unsettled nights, for your baby and for you.

Underneath it all

Whether your baby sleeps a hand's reach away or across the landing, you are both held. Moses blessed God's people with these words: “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27). There is no distance you can move your baby, and no night so long, that falls outside those arms.

A prayer for our home at night

Eternal God, be the refuge of our home tonight. Hold my baby in Your everlasting arms, and hold me too. Help me make wise, safe choices for our family, and give us all the gift of peaceful rest. Amen.