Going back to work after baby: a four-week countdown

Four weeks to go. You have bought the work bag back out of the cupboard and it smells faintly of a different life. Maybe you are excited to use your brain on something other than nap schedules. Maybe you are dreading leaving your baby. Most mums feel a mix of both, sometimes in the same hour. Whatever your reasons for going back, whether you choose to or need to, this countdown can help you prepare practically and spiritually.

Four weeks to go: the big pieces

• Confirm childcare. Whether it is a nursery, a childminder, a grandparent or a nanny, confirm start dates, hours, fees and what you need to provide.
• Talk to your employer. Confirm your return date, hours and any flexible working you have requested. Ask what has changed while you have been away.
• Know your rights. Rules about maternity leave, flexible working and breastfeeding at work differ between countries and employers. Your HR department, union or a local advice service can explain what applies to you.
• Use any keeping-in-touch arrangements. In some places, including the UK, you can work a few paid days during leave. A day in the office before your official return can take the edge off.

Three weeks to go: feeding plans

If you are breastfeeding and want to continue, you have options. Some mums express milk at work; others feed morning and evening and use formula or other milk during the day, depending on the baby's age.

• Ask your employer for a private, clean space to express (not a toilet) and somewhere to store milk.
• Practise with your pump, and help your baby get used to a bottle or cup from someone else.
• Build a small store of expressed milk if that suits you, but do not stress about a huge freezer stash.
• Ask your midwife, health visitor or a breastfeeding supporter for help if you are unsure.

Two weeks to go: settling in

• Start settling-in sessions at nursery or with your childminder. Short visits that build up in length help your baby, and you, get used to the change.
• Share what you know. Write down your baby's routine, how they like to be soothed, their sleep cues and any health information. Make sure carers follow safe sleep, with baby on their back in a clear cot.
• Plan for sick days. Babies in childcare often catch more bugs in the first months. Agree with your partner, family or a friend who can step in, and know your employer's policy.
• Know when to get help. Make sure carers know the signs that need urgent medical care, such as a high temperature in a young baby, breathing difficulty, a baby who is floppy or not feeding, or a rash that does not fade when pressed.

One week to go: rehearse

Do a full practice morning: wake up, get yourself and the baby ready, do the drop-off and travel to work, then come home. You will discover where the bottlenecks are, such as missing shoes or the car seat strap that always twists.

Prepare as much as possible the night before: bags packed, bottles ready, clothes laid out, breakfast planned. Batch cook a few dinners for the first week.

The day itself

Drop-off may bring tears, yours or your baby's. Keep goodbyes short and loving. Most babies settle soon after their parent leaves; ask the carer to send a quick message once your little one has calmed. Keep a photo on your phone. Give yourself grace if you cry in the car park or the toilets. That is love, not weakness.

Bringing your heart to work

Many mums carry guilt about returning to work. If you feel it, bring it to God honestly. Your work, whether paid or unpaid, can be offered to Him. Moses prayed, "establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it." (Psalm 90:17). Your work matters, and so does your mothering. God sees both.

When you face decisions about hours, childcare or balance, remember James's encouragement: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not" (James 1:5). He will not scold you for asking. He gives wisdom generously.

If you feel persistently low, anxious or overwhelmed as you go back, please talk to your doctor or health visitor. Returning to work is a big transition, and support is available.

A prayer for my return to work

Lord, I bring You my work and my baby. Give me wisdom for every decision and peace when I am apart from my little one. Bless the people who care for my child, and establish the work of my hands. Amen.