Writing a birth plan that leaves room for grace

A birth plan, sometimes called birth preferences, is a short document that tells your midwives and doctors what matters to you during labour and after your baby is born. It is not a contract, and it is not a test you pass or fail. It is a conversation starter. Many women find that thinking it through helps them feel calmer and more prepared, whatever happens on the day.

Before you start

• Talk to your midwife or doctor about what is available where you are planning to give birth. Options vary a lot between hospitals, birth centres and countries.
• Find out about any medical reasons that might shape your choices.
• If you have a husband or partner, or another birth companion, work on it together so they can speak up for you if you need them to.
• Keep it to one page if you can. Bullet points are easier to read in a busy room.

The sections to think about

Who will be with me

Who would you like as your birth companion? Is there anyone you would prefer not to be there? Do you have any cultural or religious needs, such as a wish for female staff where possible, or for a moment to pray?

The atmosphere

Would you like the lights dimmed, music or worship songs playing, or quiet? Would you like to wear your own clothes?

Moving and positions

Would you like to stay active and upright during labour if possible? Are you interested in using a birth ball, mat or birthing pool if available?

Pain relief

What would you like to try first? Breathing, massage, warm water, a TENS machine, gas and air, injections or an epidural are among the options, depending on where you give birth. Write down what you would like to be offered and what you would prefer to avoid, and add, I may change my mind on the day.

Monitoring and interventions

Ask your midwife to explain how your baby will be monitored and what happens if labour needs help. You could write that you would like things explained to you and time to ask questions before any procedure, where it is safe to do so.

The moment of birth

Would you like your baby placed straight onto your chest, skin to skin? Would you like the cord clamping delayed, if all is well? Does your partner want to cut the cord? Do you want to find out the sex yourself?

After the birth

How do you plan to feed your baby? Would you like help with the first feed? Your midwife may talk to you about vitamin K for your baby; you can ask for information beforehand and note your decision.

If things change

This is the most important section. Write what matters most to you if you need a caesarean birth or other unplanned care. For example: I would like my partner with me, skin to skin as soon as possible, and someone to explain what is happening.

Holding your plan with open hands

Birth is unpredictable. Sometimes things go almost exactly as planned; sometimes they take a turn nobody expected. If your birth goes differently, that is not a failure on your part. Your plan has still done its work if it helped your team know you and helped you feel heard. Many women find it helps to think of a few core wishes rather than a perfect script.

Whatever your plan says, get medical help straight away during the third trimester if you have bleeding, your waters break, your baby moves less, or you have a severe headache, vision changes or sudden swelling.

Our plans and God's direction

Planning is wise. Scripture also reminds us who holds the final word:

“A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

You can and should think carefully about your birth. Then you can place your plan in God's hands and trust Him to direct each step, including the unexpected ones. He will be there in the room whether your birth is calm and quick, long and hard, or full of surprises.

A prayer over my birth plan

Lord, I have written down my hopes for my baby's birth. I give them to You. Guide my midwives and doctors, help me to speak up for what matters, and give me peace if things change. Direct every step of that day. Amen.